Golden Week Misery

FC Forza 5 - 2 BEFC

It did not bode well from the very beginning. But little did we know that it would turn in to such a blood-chilling nightmare of hideous spectacle that will be referred to on dark, fog-bound nights in years to come, only as “The Gas Bridge Adventure”.

But first, some background on American Samoa:

American (Amerika) Samoa is a group of six Polynesian islands on the South Pacific. Fourteen degrees below the equator, it is the United States’ southern-most territory. It is known as the heart of Polynesia. If you drew a triangle from Hawaii, New Zealand and Tahiti you would find Samoa in the middle. Western Samoa is a neighbouring independent country that shares the same culture. American Samoa became an unorganised U.S. territory in 1900.

The run-up to the game against FC Forza started badly enough. From a high of 10 possible players the week before, to the low of desperate Management appeals on Friday for extra players as we were down to only a guaranteed eight hardy souls, it did not look good.

Come the day - come the man. Eventually. Eight players were waiting at the agreed meeting point exactly on the agreed meeting time of 3pm. All, man and boy, waiting for Bystedt - organiser, manager, team coach, trainer, and also late (it was only 10 minutes but it won't happen again. Apologies, Ed.) It later turned out that said Manager had only got home at 08:30 that morning, and had woken up at 13:30 prior to getting out to the match. We had managed a total of nine players, with Bacon willing to test a dodgy ankle in a good cause. Brief confusion reigned as we thought that we might be up to 10 players, but unfortunately (as we thought at the time) the tenth was actually the guest referee, as invited by Bystedt and Shalabi.

It was by this time raining. In a drizzlingly depressive way, so familiar to any inhabitant of the British Isles. Excellent footballing weather was one comment heard at the time. Nothing like American Samoa at all.

A short walk from the station to the site of the ground beside the infamous Gas Bridge, and then a longer walk from the site to the actual pitch saw us watching the last half of a local derby between a Vietnamese and a Thai side. Shocking finishing kept the score down to 2-0. But the crowd had seen nothing yet in that department.

FC Forza are an ex-University side that have kept together and have obviously been playing for a while. A good test of the BEFC side, and exactly the level of opposition for a friendly game. As long as they do not win of course.

Unfortunately BEFC had turned up without a goalie. Nothing new there in almost 8 years of play. Still, with only nine men in the team, BEFC had to “borrow” one of the FC Forza subs, and persuaded, with a series of arm-twisting, cajoling, promises and threats, to get the guest referee to agree to appear in goal for the team, giving us a grand total of 11. However, the guest goalie was adamant that he was not very good - “leaky” was infact the word he used. We thought that he was just being modest. But no, he was not. However, BEFC have no-one else but themselves to blame for playing him.

The game started along very familiar lines. A poor opening by BEFC, but still fairly solid, good play from the opposition, although they were hanging back a little, waiting to see whether BEFC could play or not. And then, shock horror gasp, an own-goal from FC Forza to put BEFC on the board was in contention with a total of five goals against, three of which were absolute comedy goals given away by BEFC. Or strictly speaking the comedy goalkeeper, who was flapping in the breeze like a big girl’s blouse on a Sunday washing line. But nothing can take away the fact that Forza did outplay BEFC for a good 20 minute stretch in the middle of the first half.

Of the two Forza goals that deserved to go in, one was shot past a defender who was obscuring the keeper’s vision. The other was a very good move down the left by Forza, with their entire attacking line running level with the backtracking defense. A pin-point cross was met with an extremely good volley from the edge of the box that flew into the net. Admittedly, within two feet of where the ‘keeper was standing, but nonetheless, a worthy goal.

By this time, BEFC knew there was no return. By no means out-played over the course of the whole game, but behind in the goal count, BEFC went back to basics. Bystedt who had been filling in in central defense pushed up into the more natural role of midfielder to swap with Williams who was carrying a knock by this stage. Bacon was still plugging away on the left, trying to find Masaya, who in turn was doing his best to dodge and weave away from any through ball. Lack of instinctive communication here led to the occasional comment from the Professor. Shalabi tried to bring the ball forward more from his unusual position of Right-Back. Meanwhile the front-line continued to run, with Watts attempting to take on his man more as time ran-down. Willis and Spivey kept the defense ticking over, without either being unduly stressed, or exceptionally dominating. The borrowed Forza player (a different one for each half), as may be expected, was not a revelation. BEFC may have played better with only 10 men.

It is not often that BEFC and “superior fitness” are mentioned in the same breath. Unless in the negative. But this was the case against Forza. Unfortunately the only time that BEFC made this count was when the whippet-like Williams got bored late in the game, picked up the ball well inside his own half and then ran down the left touch-line, cut inside near the bye-line and slotted the ball home. Just because he can.

With a proper starting 11, in regular positions, BEFC could have an extremely good game against Forza. They are a talented team, who know how to play together, and also know the benefits of running off the ball. However, with another ‘keeper, BEFC were worth a draw, or to be kind to Forza, a closer loss than 5-2. A re-match would be well worthwhile.

One last thing: American Samoa currently holds the record for the worst football thrashing ever. 35-0 at the hands of that well-known powerhouse, Australia. It is possible that BEFC found out where their ‘keeper had run away to hide.

After that, all that was left was the walk home in the rain.

Team: Comedy-keeper (Hao Yang), Shalabi, Willis, Bystedt, Spivey, Bacon, Masaya, Kenji, Williams, Watts, Borrowed-Forza-player.

Man of the Match: Tim Williams for what will surely be one of the goals of the season.

Dick of The Day: Hao Yang, goalkeeper a-go-go.