By G. Best

Woke up today after a bender that must have lasted all of a month and feeling like I'd been 150 rounds with a gang of bosozoku.

Last thing I remember was tucking into a few fresheners by Tamagawa station after the historic 3-2 victory over BFC but arose today with nothing more than a pocket full of coins, several unexplained bruises and a scrawled note promising to do the match report.

After lifting most of the details from the opposition's home page, made a quick call to my old 70s drinking pal Stanley 'Stan' Stanton - there to watch his first ever BEFC league game ? to fill in the missing info.

Stinker of a day, the kind of heat to bring the Dom Perignon '96 gushing out through the pores in a few minutes, although hopes were lifted when a previous nights drinking session by the opposition, who had come out on top in every single one of our previous encounters, meant a couple of their players had gone astray. However Vern also seemed intent on performing his own disappearing act after interpreting instructions to 'meet at St Mary's school' as meaning 'the game is at Oifuto'

Fortunately the big Spurs man made it just in time for kickoff but I'd barely had time to tuck in to my first shandy when the big lad Rob at the back gifted them a goal. No real danger on but a stray clearance fell straight to the oppo striker, who looped a pearl of a shot into the top corner from 30 yards.

"First time I've seen the Keith in action between the sticks and he gets lobbed in the opening five minutes," observed wise sage Stan from the sanctuary of the touchlines.

But barely did the boys have time to let their heads go down when Biffa leveled the scores, banging in a 30-yard scorcher of his own. And as in all the best ice hockey matches, he was then substituted.

The Embassy then went in front. Actually, the lead-up to the second happened so fast, it was all a bit of a blur. Or rather I have forgotten what happened, but I think if came after some good work by Jun, Jon or maybe Simon Woolhouse down the left, Anyway, I know it must have been Tomo who scored because it was he who was substituted seconds afterwards.

Indeed BEFC could even have given themselves a bit of breathing space before the break but dashing and brilliant midfielder Tim Williams (available NOW at reasonable rates!) was denied a third from close range by some excellent goalkeeping.

Alas, the BFC came back and leveled through a well-worked goal. Playing a couple of one-twos to open up the gap, their midfielder gave Lobster no chance by curling it just inside the post.

"Keith could have thrown himself more at that one," noted harsh critic Stan

After some encouraging words from Tomo's bird's mum at halftime, the BEFC went out fighting, or rather Simon did, earning a customary caution for a bit of afters.

Well over halfway through the bottle of Jack Daniels by now, your correspondent started to feel a bit better despite the high temperatures although I did fear the worst when the oppo began pumping in a number of dangerous crosses.

"Do you know the phone number of that handsome Bulgarian who plays on the right wing for them," asked an excited Stan.

However, the Embassy were causing some problems of their own and claimed the winner from a corner. Vern watched a looping header drop on to the crossbar, but Rob was first to react, working his way into position before redeeming himself by heading us back into the lead for good. And strangely he wasn't even taken off.

BFC tried to find a way back for a second time, but sent a couple of free headers wide and they also hit the bar. Or maybe that was in the first half?

Anyway, the final whistle went, we'd won and that was pretty much that for rest of June...