BEFC swept away the cobwebs with their first game in a couple of months with a game against TEPCO. Promises of a grass pitch took us to a little known and distant corner of Saitama, necessitating an early morning meet. Departure was, however, delayed for 20 minutes to wait for Cooper who had been spending far too time in the application of his new deodorant, Lynx Meths. Proceedings were then further held up with the heavy holiday traffic and some unorthodox map reading ('Yeah, head towards those pylons Paul')

A few gasps went up, mainly ones with a strong Welsh accent, as we surveyed the art deco that was the pitch. The opposition, having seen our initial warm-up, graciously allowed us the grass section of the ground so we had a 30m fence at which to aim our big kicks.

Starting the first period as we had never left off, we were soon two up. Swift movement and smooth passing presented a number of chances, most of which were fluffed by the attack. Shalabi did slot one into the bottom corner and then Watts, having been beautifully put through by Cooper (erm, perhaps not... Ed.) smashed another past a helpless keeper. The first period was also notable for a belly charge by Bacon on an innocent and extremely brave goalie as well as for excessive commentary from the impartial referee Lynch. TEPCO have gone on to describe this behaviour as 'most regrettable'.

Nothing whatsoever happened in the second period. Very little happened in the third, although I was off at the time and Bacon did provide me some juicy Collier hints on how to pull in Shinjuku on a Friday night. This correspondent is unfortunately unable to reveal that Collier was still in bed at the time, alone and with a hangover, badly letting down his teammates, friends and future colleagues. Oh and for some reason we also allowed Nick to take a (disputed) penalty and thus pull even further ahead in the rankings. Watts also continued the brutal assault on the keeper.

A little more was to follow in the final period. Prop forward Jones was allowed into attack along with Flynn. Predictably however his only contribution was a couple of appalling fouls and a horrific miss from less than a yard. Flynn however managed to take full advantage of a tiring opposition defence and head in a couple of goals, the second of which when meeting a swift cross from right midfield, must be a contender for best sounding goal of the season (skimming a stone across a smooth lake?). Williams and Woolhouse finished the scoring off to make it a comfortable 7-0 victory.

Discussions in the Rover (going at 183 mph) on the way back centred on the MOM award. Lynch, after little deliberation, proposed Vern - due to be confirmed within the week

Team: Bystedt, Williams, Jones, Cooper, Flynn, Shalabi, Watts, Bacon, Koichiro, Elliot, Spivey, Bridge

MOTM goes to Rob "Errol" Flynn